"Silent Night! Holy Night! All is calm, all is bright. Round yon virgin mother and child! Holy Infant so tender and mild. Sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly peace."

Today has been a different sort of Christmas day. Dylan plays in Miami tomorrow so I had already been prepared to be without him today and had already made plans to head to my parents with Caleb to celebrate Christmas with my family. We had opened most of our gifts yesterday saving our stockings for this morning. But like a lot of things in life, plans change and the unexpected happens. Caleb woke up this morning screaming and as I ran into check on him I noticed that he was burning up. His temperature was 104. Yikes. So our plans to head home were cancelled and I was... well.. disappointed. It didn't help my emotions to watch my husband leave either. For those of you who know me well, you know how obsessed and in love I am with this holiday. I love Christmas, I love everything about it and to not be able to go home and be with my family was really hard. So I had a good cry, sucked it up and started to think of all of the things I have to be thankful for. I also tried to keep a good perspective. I was reminded throughout the day of all of the friend's I have who have lost parents or grandparents in the past year and the sadness they must be feeling, I also thought of the wives who have husbands who are overseas at war. Plus I had a sick lil boy to care for, thank goodness for Motrin as it helped bring his fever down. I'm still not sure what he has, he was just sick two weeks ago with a sinus infection & conjuntivitis and then we were back at the doctors two days ago for the same thing plus an ear infection but he has been on antibiotics so I'm still not sure what happened this morning.

So instead of packing up myself and Caleb and driving five hours we stayed in our jammies, watched movies and took a long nap. Instead of being apart of the excitement of opening presents and hearing the squeals of my niece & nephew we've had a quiet and restful day. Silent night... all is calm... that is kinda how I would describe today. This has been the quietest, most calm Christmas I have ever had, not that it has been easy taking care of a sick lil boy, but there has been rest, silence & joy in this day. I have savored the moments of getting to cuddle with Caleb for so long on the couch knowing in my heart that I was all that he wanted and all that he needed. What a gift.

I have pondered what Mary must have felt holding the Savior of this world. How still and silent that night was, no gifts to unwrap, no food to be cooked, no overstuffed tummies, just her and her new baby surrounded by her husband, some hay and animals. It was just an ordinary night but for Mary it was a night of savoring the new sights and smells of her baby. It was an ordinary night but a night that would change the world and my life forever. Jesus came to save us, to save me. God said my creation is worth it so I am sending my one and only Son to be 'like' them and then die for them. What an amazing gift. The best gift.

There is a book that I love to read at Christmas, it is called 'One Incredible Moment, Celebrating the Majesty of the Manger' by Max Lucado. It is a wonderful book that really brings humility to the whole Christmas season and points you to the most important part of Christmas. It always 'centers' me on what is most important. I was struck by this line: "You are precious to him, so precious that he became like you so that you would come to him." I also loved this scripture, "With the loving mercy of our God, a new day from heaven will dawn upon us. It will shine on those who live in darkness, in the shadow of death. It will guide us into the path of peace." Luke 1:78-79 Christmas is all about the light of life, the Prince of Peace coming to earth to save us, to bring peace to our hearts. So much of this Christmas season is not about peace, it becomes about scheduling parties, baking, shopping for gifts, wrapping gifts making sure your child has the perfect outfit, the perfect gift, ect.... but tonight as I sit here I am thankful that admist disappointment, sadness and a different kind of Christmas day I have peace because I have Jesus. And for that I am thankful.